OK, sorry for the delay. It turned out to be harder than I thought to get access to a computer in the corporate maze of Las Vegas.
So I'll step back in time and re-run some of the events of last week.
On our first full day we just milled about Phoenix and visited the outlets during sun up. The outlets are designer stores which sell out-of-season fashion at discounted rates. I wonder why anyone would bother with the pricey boutiques when these shops exist? I say that as someone who isn't immersed in fashion though, I just wear what I like. Football socks, jeans, flowery shirts, printed tees, girly-coloured undies; the staples of my wardrobe.
As the temperature was simmering in the low 100s we decided that some time by the pool would be ideal, and headed back to the gated community in Anthem, just outside Phoenix, which is our base camp.
There is a country club with a pool, gym and steam room there so we got into our bathing suits and set about relaxing.
In my last post I touched on how uncomfortable air travel was for me - I just feel alien crushed in a flying sardine can, like a giant American spider trying to drive a manual gear-shift Mini Cooper. But oozing vitamin D by the pool with the sound of water lapping and my mind free of cares seemed like the most natural thing in the world to me. Despite the fact that my skin reacts to the sun's rays like humans to the Martians' death rays in War of the Worlds by turning to a horrible red weed, I felt like I had been in this existence forever and that I would continue in the same vein for an infinite time.
Bah.
After the pool time we dodged the obligatory wrinkly exhibitionist and his curious penis and slinked in for a steam room. Though our relaxation in here was still wary that when the steam cleared the nudey man would appear from the mist, like a naked Jack the Ripper, minus the evil intent. "Hello boys!"
After our steam we took advantage of the free Brut and set off across town to take in a high school (American) football game. The 45-minute journey through badlands and along freeways and past suburban areas impressed upon the scale of this Land of the Free. It's like God had the land, screwed it up into a ball, designed all of the landmarks then smoothed out the land laving huge gaps meaning that every journey required the use of a car. The big Ominiscience must be on some kind of fuel commission. Or maybe He finds it funny seeing people bursting for the toilet fumbling for car keys just to relieve themselves.
This huge scale was hammered home by the game, played in a rough 'hood on a Wednesday night, as it had a higher attendance than a Kilmarnock game in the SPL. Our team imploded in the fourth quarter and squandered a two-touchdown lead.
My next post will (finally) include real road trip banter as I tell you about our trips to Sedons, Flagstaff and the Grand Canyon. I hope we avoided talking about sex and then being tortured like the road-tripping teens in those movies Wrong turn and House of 1000 Corpses. Gulp.
Until then, like the inhibitions of Mr Teak-wood, our wrinkled country club obstacle - I'm out.
Big Hugs from the Big Country.
i can't believe you forgot to include long-johns in your list of wardrobe staples. x
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